Not all ideas are worth writing down. Trust me. Allow me to submit my entry into the Time Waster's Hall of Fame: I decided to invent an entire written language for my book.
Sounds cool, right? Well, it was...until it wasn't.
The Alluring Idea
The idea started off innocently enough. There's a hidden underground world the characters need to get into. Wouldn't it be amazing to create a written language they must use to solve a puzzle? I've already made reference to it in the book, so why not make it REAL for the readers.
Oh, I made it real, all right.
Real dumb.
It seemed like a great way to add depth and intrigue to the story. I dedicated an entire chapter to this elaborate puzzle only to find out how wrong I was.
Behold! Weep at my magnificence!
The Reality Check
So this elaborate puzzle has them replacing runes around an ancient site. The circles and dots don't translate quite right, which causes them to have to make a steaming 💩 poem I made sense. Not only did I invest a significant amount of time crafting this language, but I also sprinkled references to it throughout the book. It was only in the final edit I realized it's an inextricable, beautifully intricate, time-sucking part of the plot.
Creating a written language isn't just about making up words. It's about developing a consistent grammar, syntax, and alphabet. I drew all of it in a notepad! With ink. And a pen. It was an enormous undertaking, especially when I realized that readers will also need to need to understand it. They need to know how brilliant I am!
By the time I was editing, I got tired of reading it. It's my baby! But if I am bored with it, the readers will too. They may gouge their eyes out or, at the very least, weep blood.
What a fool I've been
So, what's the takeaway here? Sometimes, our grand creative ideas can backfire. Some times so spectacularly, you become violently ill and consider moving to a different country to escape from the shame, and unfortunately, hindsight is 20/20. So to preempt any such problems in the future, I ask myself these questions:
- Is it stupid? - Seems obvious, but if you think it might be, it probably is. Get rid of it.
- Is it too much work? - If you find yourself spending a bunch of time doing something that isn't writing, stop. You are not J.R.R. Tolkien. Maybe just rip off some vaguely latin words and call it a day. Avocado Cadaver, or whatever.
- Does it matter? - Sleep. Family. Beer. These things are important. If you feel nothing when deleting it, it's the right choice.
Embracing the Challenge
Every idea has the potential to teach us something. In this case, it was a master class in how to waste my time and months of rewriting. I kept the language, but scaled it back. Embrace your wild ideas, but be sure to keep one foot grounded in practicality. And if you ever find yourself inventing a language, don't.