Ah, the life of an aspiring author. You're sitting at your desk, coffee in hand, inspiration flowing like a mighty river... until you realize your prose reads like a poorly translated instruction manual. Suddenly, the task of editing feels more like wrestling the Kraken than refining your masterpiece. And then there's the English language. Even as a supposedly native englishing speaking person, I sometimes lack a basic understanding of the language I speak every day.
Editing: The Sisyphean Task
Editing, my friends, is the literary equivalent of a dentist appointment - you know it's necessary, but you'd rather binge-watch infomercials with your mother-in-law's ancient cat. Here's why:
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Emotional Attachment: You've poured your heart and soul into your draft. Each word is like your baby. Now, someone's asked you to swap your adorable toddler for an four day old, upside down goldfish floating in a murky tank. It's painful, sad, confusing, and slightly fishy.
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Lack of Skills: Writing is one thing; editing is a whole different beast. It's like being asked to fix your car when all you've ever done is drive it. "Engine? Sure, it's under the hood somewhere, right?"
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Time and Patience: Editing demands the patience of a saint and the time commitment of a Netflix marathon. Sadly, many aspiring authors have neither, and who can blame them? The latest cat video isn't going to watch itself.
English: The Frenemy
The English language is like that friend who always invites you to do something fun but ends up making you question your life choices. Here's why mastering it is a Herculean feat:
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Educational Gaps: Not everyone had the benefit of an English teacher who made grammar fun. Some of us learned English from TV shows and cereal boxes. Thanks, Captain Crunch.
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Language Evolution: English evolves faster than a chameleon on a rainbow. Yesterday's cool slang is today's cringe. Keeping up is like running a marathon on a treadmill—you never actually get anywhere. Yeet. Skibidi. Sigma. I hate that I know these words. Thanks, children.
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Overwhelming Rules: English grammar rules are more confusing than the plot of a M. Night Shyamalan movie. "I before E except after C, and in words like 'neighbor' and 'weird.' Yeah, weird is right."
Bridging the Gap: A Comedy of Errors
But fear not, brave wordsmiths! There's light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully not an oncoming train). Here's how you can navigate this minefield:
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Education and Practice: Think of grammar lessons as broccoli for your brain. Unpleasant, but necessary. Sign up for courses, join workshops, and remember: practice makes perfect. Or at least, passable.
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Reading Widely: Read everything you can get your hands on. Books, blogs, cereal boxes (again, thanks Captain Crunch). The more you read, the more you'll absorb, like a linguistic sponge.
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Seeking Feedback: Don't be afraid to share your work. Get feedback from friends, fellow writers, or even your mom (if she's brutally honest). Constructive criticism is your best friend—tough love edition.
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Embracing the Process: Writing and editing are like dancing the tango with a porcupine. Awkward and slightly painful, but once you get the hang of it, surprisingly rewarding. Embrace each draft as a step closer to brilliance.
Keep Laughing, Keep Writing
The journey to becoming a successful author is paved with laughter, tears, and more than a few typos. Editing and mastering the English language are significant hurdles, but they're also what make the journey worthwhile. With a bit of humor and a lot of perseverance, you can turn those raw drafts into polished gems. So keep writing, keep laughing, and never give up. The world needs your story—even if it needs a few edits first.